In a few weeks I’ll be fifty, half a century. I have to say it really didn’t take long to get to fifty just a moment or two it seems, one minute your eight the next you’re seventeen before you know it twenty seven passes and next is fifty steps up for its turn. I saw a commercial the other day and a man was boasting about being one hundred and one years old (he really didn’t look it though) and turned to my wife and said, “man, that’s a long time.. that’s like .. over twice my age!” (I’m quick that way, even at fifty) “That’s like starting over and living my whole life a second time” (again I boast at my ability to perceive). If I were to ask the “century guy” he would say one hundred only took a few more moments to reach than fifty.
It seems to take a life time to ponder forward towards being a certain age but only a moment to look back across that same time span, it’s easily encapsulated within a few “reflective nano seconds”. I remember when i was in the sixth grade I couldn’t imagine ever being a senior in high school, twelfth grade was so far off in the future that it would never come.
Blink!
Now its been over thirty since I graduated high school.
With this time warp thing being true, at least for me, I’ve taken stock of what lies ahead and have come to the conclusion that although the time I imagine it would take to reach one hundred to be an eternity I must contemplate such a thought with a certain amount of “experiential sobriety” after all it was just a few days ago I was nine trying my best to perfect a “wheel” on my sting ray bike. If there’s one thing I’ve become a little keener on it’s the words in scripture devoted to describing our lives, stuff like dust, or “For you are but a vapor, that appears for a little time, and then will vanish away”. With all this vapor stuff being true I have to say I’m drawn ever more closer to the Eternal One who is the anchor for my soul, He is becoming increasingly invaluable, highly desirable and genuinely satisfying. I’m coming to learn in a whole new way that He alone satisfies, He never changes and above all He is the “I Am”, I haven’t actually nailed it but I have at least settled into enough of a limited understanding to effect my ability to be content, that’s not to say certain things don’t bother me, certain things do which is why God invented blogging. There’s enough “noise” in the world, by this I mean talk, chatter, opinions, proclamations, promises, assertions, boasting, bragging and political posturing. This side, that side, blue, red, left, right etc.
I like the scene from the Beatles song, “Fool On The Hill”, this guy quietly observing the chaos of the urgent passing by before him. Well that’s not actually where I’m coming from but there’s surely something to be said for “checking out” of the urgency in order to find a place of rest.
God’s that place.
I first began learning this when we lived on a couple acres in the country, I had a five gallon plastic bucket behind the barn that I would sit on and face the sunset at the end of the day, accompanied by our dog and cat I would engage in these highly inquisitive conversations with God wanting to know the “why” to so many things. They weren’t always docile moments sometimes that bucket would get kicked clean across the back pasture. But it worked.
In recent days I’ve tried sharing the wisdom of finding contentment in God with my kids, hopefully they’ll learn it at an earlier age than I did.
It makes the world make sense. Whether you’re looking forward to what your life might be or looking backwards to what it’s been, He’s still the beginning and the end. I’m sovereignly sandwiched within the Eternal Bookend who charges me to forget what lies behind and exhorts me not to worry about tomorrow, two things I have no control over, however, He does give me control over at least one thing. Today. In this he asks me to choose whom I will serve.
“Choose this day whom you will serve.”
We get to make a lot of choices in life and the best thing about this is the satisfaction of being content with them once they’re made.
Today? I choose God and in that I am content.
